MAKING PEACE WITH NOT MAKING THE MOST OF IT.

You must be having the best time. Look at this opportunity you have, you must make the most of it because it won’t happen again.

How lucky you are.

So what happens if you don’t make every single moment count. What then? Was it still worth it? In 5 years time will you wish you had done more while you were there. Or will you appreciate the time spent existing, in transience, without a constant plan or motive in place.

What if the moments you weren’t ‘making the most of it’ were as, if not more important than all the plans, tasks, friends, purpose you thought you had to experience for it to be worth your time. What if just being somewhere else was enough. Living in a state of in between, somewhere not brief enough to live through the lens of a tourist, not long enough to belong.

After you leave, your conditioned reaction will be guilt. You failed - you didn’t succeed to fill this period with every possible experience at your disposal. You should have tried harder, known where you were going, what you were trying to achieve. The failure is exhausting, like constantly swimming upstream but never quite making it. So you give up, concede to the current, the transience washing over you, taking you somewhere with it. Towards something and nothing at the same time.

You just might not always know where that is. Until a time from now, where you will realise you’ve arrived at your destination.